Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.