I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.