I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.