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Weekend Jokes

Weather Puns
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Corona Virus Jokes
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Garden Puns
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
Beaver Puns
Knock Knock!

Who is there?

Water.

Water who?

Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
Movie Pick Up Lines
Here's to a big opening weekend.
Mother Puns
Since it's Mothers Day weekend, I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a BIG SMILE on her face this morning...
Now I can't have Sharpies in the house anymore.
Medieval Puns
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
Irish Puns
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
Knight Puns
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Monster Puns
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Mermaid Puns
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Gorilla Puns
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Funny Break Up Lines
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Flamingo Puns
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.