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Breaking Jokes

4th of July Pick Up Lines
I'm arresting you for breaking the 8th amendment because you...are excessively fine!
Bread Puns
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
Leg Puns
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
Football Puns
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Heart Puns
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
Anti Jokes
What leaves a bigger hole in your heart than breaking up with your girlfriend?
A bullet.
Ancient Rome Puns
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Dad Jokes
Breaking a leg during an audition...
Ensures that you end up in the cast.
Funny Break Up Lines
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Peach Puns
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
Crocodile Puns
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
Mouth Puns
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
Egg Puns
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Appliance Puns
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.