What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.