Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.