What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
Witch you were here.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.