Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.