Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Come witch me to the party.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.