Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Werewolves love their fast food.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.