Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
Come witch me to the party.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.