Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.