Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking