Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!