Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.