Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!