I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
Witch you were here.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.