What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Werewolves love their fast food.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.