What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!