What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.