What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.