What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Come witch me to the party.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!