Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
Live to tell the tail.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.