What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.