What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
Come witch me to the party.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.