What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.