What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.