What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.