Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.