My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone