If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.