What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.