How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.