What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.