What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
Witch you were here.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
Come witch me to the party.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.