College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.