When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!