What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.