How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
Werewolves love their fast food.
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!