What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.