What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.