Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.