What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.