Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Live to tell the tail.
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.