Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola