A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.