How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
Werewolves love their fast food.