Witches are always wand-ering around…
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!