What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.