Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.