What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
Live to tell the tail.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?