What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!