How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Come witch me to the party.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.