Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.