Zombies are dead but they live with it.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!