Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
Come witch me to the party.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.