Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Werewolves love their fast food.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf