Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
Witch you were here.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.