What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.