Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!