What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!