A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.