What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
Witch you were here.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.