What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
Witches are always wand-ering around…
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.