Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.