What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Witch you were here.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Come witch me to the party.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!