What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!