Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
Werewolves love their fast food.
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi