I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Werewolves love their fast food.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.