What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
Live to tell the tail.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.