What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.