Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!