What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
Werewolves love their fast food.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.