What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
Witch you were here.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!