You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.