What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.