Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!