Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Live to tell the tail.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
Werewolves love their fast food.