Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.