What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.