Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.