What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!