What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Witch you were here.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!