What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Come witch me to the party.