What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Witch you were here.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!