What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
Werewolves love their fast food.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!