What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Come witch me to the party.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!