What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.