An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.