Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!