What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!