What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
Witch you were here.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.