I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
Witch you were here.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.