What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Werewolves love their fast food.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!