I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?