Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.