What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.