What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!