What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
Live to tell the tail.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.