Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
Werewolves love their fast food.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch?
A skelevision.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.