What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
What did the woman say when she escaped Dracula’s clutches?
- Better luck necks time!
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!