If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Why did the Ghosts win the soccer match? They scored more Ghouls.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!