What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!