Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
Witch you were here.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!