What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.