What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!