Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
Werewolves love their fast food.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
Did you hear the story of the little ghoul that grew up?
It became a headhunter!
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.