I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.