What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!