Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?