Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.