How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
Live to tell the tail.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Come witch me to the party.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!