Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.